Festival of Shadows Page 13
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Tweedle-dumming tweedle-dweeb?” the halibut asked. “Well, it’s certainly not the worst insult I’ve ever heard. It’s good enough for Baby.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“I’m a bass-faced jack-o’-lantern?” Ludwig asked. “What kind of insult is that?”
The big baby frowned.
“Not good,” the halibut whispered to Theo. “Halloween is Baby’s favorite holiday. He was a pumpkin last year.”
“Crap.”
Ludwig took a swig of apple juice and burped. “If I’m a bass-faced jack-o’-lantern, you’re a piddly milk monger!”
Laughter filled the bar, and everyone looked at Theo for a response.
Theo balled his fists. “Well, um . . .”
“You’re a—”
~ “barnacle-eyed—”
~ “diaper-sniffing—”
~ “tweedle-dumming—”
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Barnacle-eyed—”
~ “pea for brains.”
~ “stinky butter stick.”
~ “candle nose.”
“Barnacle-eyed pea for brains, eh?” the halibut asked. “That’s the first decent insult I’ve heard all night. Baby can’t stop laughing!”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Barnacle-eyed stinky butter stick, eh?” the halibut asked.
Everyone in the bar snickered.
“He said stinky . . .”
“Stinky! Heh heh.”
“I can’t believe he said that. So brave!”
Ludwig looked around at everyone whispering, and he threw his sippy cup to the floor. “Arrrgh!”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Barnacle-eyed candle nose?” the halibut asked. “I love the visual, but baby doesn’t get it.”
The big baby grabbed Theo by the neck, stomped over to the door, and tossed him out of the tavern.
“And stay out!” Ludwig said as the baby slammed the door.
“Ouch,” Theo said, sitting up.
So much for stealing the key.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Diaper-sniffing—”
~ “peach face.”
~ “latex licker.”
~ “gas passer.”
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Diaper-sniffing peach face, eh?” the halibut asked. “I love the way you put words together. Baby does, too.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Diaper-sniffing latex licker?” the halibut asked, scratching his head. “I don’t know. It just doesn’t have that lilt like an insult should. Baby is not happy with you right now.”
The big baby grabbed Theo by the neck, stomped over to the door, and tossed him out of the tavern.
“And stay out!” Ludwig said as the baby slammed the door.
“Ouch,” Theo said, sitting up.
So much for stealing the key.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page.
Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Diaper-sniffing gas passer?” the halibut asked. “Oh man, that was awesome!”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Tweedle-dumming—”
~ “pickled earthworm pooper.”
~ “caddywhompus.”
~ “tweedle-dweeb.”
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Tweedle-dumming, pickled earthworm pooper?” the halibut asked, scratching his head. “First, what does tweedle-dumming mean? Second, where the heck do you get pickled earthworms? Third, I just don’t get why you’d be pooping them out. Your visuals are nasty, buddy. That was a colossal failure. You made Baby really mad.”
The big baby grabbed Theo by the neck, stomped over to the door, and tossed him out of the tavern.
“And stay out!” Ludwig said as the baby slammed the door.
“Ouch,” Theo said, sitting up.
So much for stealing the key.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Tweedle-dumming caddywhompus?” the halibut said, chuckling. “I don’t know what the heck you just said, but it was hilarious. Baby agrees.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“Tweedle-dumming tweedle-dweeb?” the halibut asked. “Well, it’s certainly not the worst insult I’ve ever heard. It’s good enough for Baby.”
The big baby laughed so hard that he fell off the bar.
“We have a winner!” the halibut yelled, holding up Theo’s hand.
“I want a rematch!” Ludwig said, stomping up and down.
“Give me your arm,” Theo said.
“Keep dreaming, teddy!”
“I said give me your arm.”
Ludwig laughed, but Theo moved quickly. He grabbed Ludwig’s arm, yanked it off and hit him over the head with it.
“Thanks.”
Ludwig tried to get up, but the big baby stomped over and sat on him.
“Baby doesn’t like you,” the halibut said.
Ludwig struggled under the baby and then groaned.
Theo plucked off Ludwig’s pointer finger and threw the rest of the arm back at him. “Change of heart.”
He left the bar as everyone cheered at him.
~ Continue.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
“One key down,” Theo said, approaching the circus grounds.
The circus grounds were unkempt—weeds grew everywhere and the carnie stands were in disrepair. The funhouse, a huge purple box with an angry mouth painted on it, was in need of paint, and the building looked like it was going to fall over any minute.
Theo paused when he spotted Verona sitting on a stump near the funhouse and playing with a lighter.
“We’re the keys to success,” she said. “What was the password? Ooooh, I can’t remember!”
She stood up and did a ballet pose—“Ta-duuuuuh . . .”—then lost her balance, fell off the stump and hit her head. “I just can’t remember.”
She pulled a slip of paper from her pocket and read it. “Oh, that’s it! How could I forget? It’s—oh yeah, I shouldn’t say it out loud in case someone is listening.”
I need to get that piece of paper.
Theo grabbed a rock and threw it. It thunked off the funhouse.
“Yeeep!” Verona shouted, jumping three feet into the air. “Who’s there?”
The breeze blew and rustled some leaves. Verona sat on the stump chattering her teeth.
“L-Ludwig? That you? You know how I hate when you play tricks on me. You better not be hiding inside the funhouse with a handful of insects like last time. I hate insects!”
She pulled a flashlight from her pocket and approached the funhouse; Theo tip-toed behind her and turned the Whatsamadoozle into a giant claw. He aimed it at her pocket just as he stepped in a patch of dry weeds. They crackled, and Verona started to turn around.
“Who’s there?”
Theo turned the Whatsamadoozle into a:
~ Giant daddy longlegs.
~ Giant kissing cockroach.
SORRY!
You didn’t make a selection. Go back to the previous page. Otherwise, you may get lost.
The daddy longlegs was twice Verona’s size. It skittered toward her, but she laughed.
“That doesn’t scare me,” she said with a long face. “Who’re you?”
Theo turned the spider into a slingshot, and he aimed it at her. “Empty your pockets.”
Verona dug into her pockets and pulled out many things—a goldfish bowl, a light bulb, a computer mouse, a miniature Christmas tree—but not the slip of paper.
“How do you fit so much in there?” Theo asked, flabbergasted.
Verona shrugged, and then she pulled out a bazooka. Before Theo could react, she fired, and the explosion sent him flying.
“Leave me alone, stupid!”
Theo landed in a dark alley.
“So much for that,” he said.
Nearby, there was a mansion on a hill overlooking the town. It was German-looking, with a brick and half-timber exterior. He had never seen such a huge mansion before.
He snuck toward the manor and came to a wrought-iron gate blocking the way. Grabbing a barrel from the alley, he climbed on top of it and threw himself over the gate.
The front lawn was manicured, and there was a fountain with a statue of a laughing clown’s face; water streamed from its eyes, but it was smiling.
He snuck around the side of the mansion, peeking in the windows as he went. There was nothing of interest inside—just fancy rooms with expensive decorations.
As he rounded the side of the house, bright light and heat suddenly surrounded him. Theo found himself standing in a library stacked wall-to-wall with old books.
How did I get in?
He stepped back and saw tha
t the rear exterior of the mansion was missing, exposing the rooms. Here and there, teddy bear butlers moved throughout, dusting, cleaning, spraying, and waxing.
It’s a doll house.
He could hear Andersen in a bedroom on the second floor, snoring on his bed.
Theo entered the library again and listened at the door leading out. Hearing nothing on the other side, he opened it and snuck into the hallway. The shiny wood floor was slippery under his feet, and portraits of toys, painted in oil, hung unevenly along the walls. Beneath each portrait was a caption in plated gold.